"Oooh, Martha. That bracelet is stunning. Where'd you get it?"
Well, maybe Nicole Kidman did not really say that of Ms. Stewart's electronic bracelet, the one Martha wears while out on probation. But Martha does wear the ankle bracelet with pride.
There she was the other night rubbing elbows at a Time Magazine dinner honoring the 100 of America's most influential people. Yep. Martha is one of them.
She asked the U.S. Probation Department for permission to attend the evening event. It was granted as she contended the event was directly related to her employment.
Now the probation department is furious. It feels it has been hoodwinked. Martha, a convicted felon for lying to federal investigators, may have lied about the dinner. Gasp!
Details are scant on what she must have said. One press report suggests that the feds are wound up because no awards were given at the dinner. What did Martha tell her probation officer? She was going to be given a medal as liar of the year?
Attending a party of the high and mighty simply for the sake of publicity and raising her profile in the business community is not a good enough reason to go out in the evening. That's what the chief probation wizard in New York is now saying.
Hello? Just what were they thinking in the Southern District of New York's probation office? Martha is in the business of producing image. That's her gig; her raison d'etre; bone of her bone, flesh of her flesh, etc.
I say hold a show cause hearing as to why Martha ought not to be held in contempt of the law, and a parallel hearing on why Chris Stanton, the probation officer who signed off on her attendance at the party, ought not to held to scorn, ridicule and contempt of a different sort.
Martha parties on probation. And Time Magazine lionizes a woman who thinks lying is all part of the omni-living style.
It's a topsy-turvy world. Maybe I'll run for president.